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This piece of fiction was written around the date of 6 June 2008, and was a collaboration between user:p3a and user:Kouskous (players of Kall and Kouniam respectively). It was played out on an instant messaging programme, fully consentually by both players. None of the happenings detailed thus are widely-known in-character knowledge - this happened a long time ago, comparitively speaking, so even the consequences of what happened have almost all been completely cleared now.

Quality not guaranteed - this is old.

Warning - contains blood/violence/magic/weirdness/pocket dimensions/messy tenses/broken direct speech


Kouniam rode his talbuk through the cold desert of Tanaris. The great moon was high in the sky and provided the only light that could be seen around him. Over the horizon the flashing Gadgetzan guided him to his target. As he arrived, he decided to leave the talbuk by the stables outside and, wearing his dark cowl, entered the city gates peering for his target... once more.

Lowdan pawed at Kall's shoulder, a certain sense of urgency in his gestures. "What?" "Kall..." "Yes?" "Is that your Man'ari?" He pointed simply at Kouniam.

Kall swore, and ducked behind the crates between her and Lowdan, and Kouniam. They were barely visible above the crates when they were standing, let alone crouched down - so Kouniam would have had to have spotted the tops of those bunchies in the few seconds they were visible. She dragged Lowdan down with her, too. She was stronger than he was now. Kouniam stopped for a while, thinking about what he had just seen. "Was that her...?" He grabbed for the small figurine from his pocket and carefully removed a single insignificant shard. "Asj shi faramos re enkil az mordanas." The shard vaporised and his eyes turned pure violet. He directed his eyes at where he had just seen what seemed to be Kall...

Kall held deathly still. Lowdan, empathising her panic and wishing also to stay out of the firing line, mirrored her, frowning slightly.

She looked at him. He looked at her.

She put one of her arms around him, and rested her finger on a button attached to a complicated-looking Gnomish device on her belt (one of three) - a Cloaking Device - just in case.

Kouniam smiled at what he had just seen. With a light wave the shard materialised in his hand and his eyes turned to glow the usual dark blue. The took two shards this time and peered around him. "Bloody goblins won't like this... at all..." He grunted but decided to go forward. With a quick move he launched the shards against the crates whispering softly: "Kirel narak..." She swore barely audibly in Gnomish as she sensed the shards approaching, activated the cloaking device - Lowdan also covered by its protection, if barely - and made a break for the inn. She figured it was the safest place - who knows, there was even a chance of Mirthe being there.

The shards hit the crates, the resulting explosion causing some alarm among the goblins and a smoking mark on the wall they had been stacked against. Feeling that he failed his task, Kouniam activated his own invisibility as the goblins flocked to the explosion site.

He made his haste to follow Kall's magic essence, now seeing through the magical realm, sneaking into the inn (still invisible) and hiding in a dark corner.

Kall and Lowdan, their cloaking faded, were speaking quickly and quietly in Gnomish to each other. Kall seemed to be trying to persuade Lowdan to do something he didn't think was a very good idea.

Eventually, Kall went to the Innkeeper with Lowdan in tow (she seemed to have won the argument) and said, in Common, "Here's towards repairing whatever that explosion was. I hope you get it done quickly. We will head out of town now – sorry for the trouble." She put a hand into a pocket in her robe and slid an undisclosed amount of money across to the goblin, who grunted in response.

Kall stepped out of the inn briskly with Lowdan in tow still - performed a quick summoning spell, calling a Dreadsteed to her aid. She pulled Lowdan hastily up so he could sit behind her on the steed - she dug her heels into it with a sense of urgency, and it galloped off out of town on her command.

Angered and determined to finally get his target, Kouniam slipped out from the inn and blinked his way out of the town to reach his talbuk and follow the couple. Getting on top of his mount, neglecting the matters the stable master’s pay, he rushed out into the chilly night desert - peering for the fiery lights of the Dreadsteed, which he caught easily in the darkness.

The sands glowed under the celestial light.

"Hurry if you don't want to be turned into a steak!" The talbuk started to hurry following the distant light of Kall's steed.

Kall and Lowdan arrived at the temporal portal which lead to the time-space co-ordinates of the Sprangler Residence. "Lowdan, get inside NOW." "Kall! I'm not leaving you here." "L'da--" She sighed, then gave him a withering 'I love you deeply, but you really are pathetic sometimes' look. "Please..." "Look, you don't need to be a martyr all the time. I can help you! So you had to get by yourself when your parents were doing it but now I'm here, and--" "Lowdan! It would be a greater torture for me to see YOU hurt! Get. Inside!"

Lowdan looked at her like a kicked puppy.

She looked at him, melancholy. But she was smiling, and there was a distant, if somewhat resignatory, twinkle in her eye: the twinkle a rebel who believes they are doing the right thing has when they get caught by the authorities. "Lowdan... go..." A glaring ball of fire roamed the sky, aimed directly towards Kall and Lowdan's location. "...now!"

Kall shoved him in, but Lowdan clung. In a rather undignified fashion, they both tumbled through the portal. The fireball whizzed through after them.

Kall had landed on top, with Lowdan beneath - so, whereas he was relatively unharmed, she sustained quite a few burns to her back. They weren't major, though - somewhat mediocre as burns from spells go - as the fireball had flown very close to the top of her, whilst not actually hitting, then fizzled a few feet later.

Kouniam reached over the portal and jumped inside. He had not the slightest idea of the location on the other side of the temporal-arcane anomalous portal, but it didn't matter, all he wanted was to finish everything once and for all.

Two Gnomish-pitched cries - one male, one female - rose from whatever Kouniam landed. It was slightly squishy and rather squirmy, and said "Gerrof!" a lot.

Kouniam looked at where he landed. And smiled. "Killing you by using only my body and gravity wasn't my exact plan... but might work" He cackled.

The sky... there were stars. Lots of them. On par with the stars visible from Hellfire Peninsula. The sands glowed.

"Ngh... ok, Lowdan, after three..." Three words in Gnomish, then a surprising amount of strength from the two squished things tipped Kouniam over.

Kouniam was surprised over the two gnomes reaction. He signed and unleashed a huge arcane explosion and jumped right after it, landing on his feet... erm... hooves... "Pitiful... Is that all you can do?” And...

She cast a very quick summoning spell and immediately sent the summoned demon - Sruulum - after Kouniam, following up with a powerful Curse of Tongues. She'd been practising.

"Lowdan! Run! Get your sword and shield!" He obeyed, without questioning for an instant. Kall cast another spell - a shadowbolt - which was ploughing towards Kouniam at a far faster rate than the gnome male was running away, Sruulum howled, painfully to the magic-user's ear, and began doing his very best to eat Kouniam's mana.

"Hahaha!" Kouniam unleashed a huge fire blast around himself, activating his mana shield as soon as possible. He shouted to start casting a fireball at the magic came very slowly... which made him stop and think... "Of course..."

Kall simply stood, waited, endured, until the mana shield went down.

He froze himself, dispelling everything Kall cast on him. Unleashing from the spell as soon as possible, he sent a frost nova at the demon and hurled a frostbolt at Kall.

Sruulum consumed the mana-ice gleefully and sprung forwards once more, attempting again to… er, nom on Kou's mana. He liked this. Angered by the demon's behaviour, Kouniam cast a strong Dragon's Breath over him, stunning him for some time.

Kall didn't seem as affected as perhaps would have been desired by the chilly bolt, but the frost spell had certainly slowed her down. "Why do you care, Kou? This is a weakness of yours." She grinned at him. "Your annoying pet is blocking my fire spells... I swear that if I don't kill you I'll kill him instead just for the fun..." He paused, gathering his composition. “But no matter... you die here... TODAY!"

"I will?" As soon as the frost spell faded, Kall - completely unexpectedly - charged forwards, staff first, aiming for somewhere on Kouniam that most combatants forget is there in the hope nobody will aim for the same place on them. But, Kall was female. She didn't care, she just wanted to get him to stop casting spells at her.

"Ohh... you wish for a staff fight..." Kouniam laughed and reached for his staff... at least where it should be... he only had realised he was caring a magic dagger... Kall nonetheless continued her charge, staff-point raised to Draenei-crotch-height.

Kouniam took his dagger and began defending against Kall’s assault with rogue-like moves (which he seemed not to understand that well). “You’re just lucky..."

Her stave struck not long after those words, with some force – for a gnome warlock. Kouniam, luckily, covered himself with his fists right in time, his heavy gloves helping the gnome-sized blow not to hurt his hands.

"Nice move... but beginner-like..." He smirked at her. He twisted the dagger and reached for Kall's neck.

She twirled her staff around swiftly, bringing the runt end of it up to strike his solar plexus - and, at that point... well, you know the little "Pshewwwww..." noise warriors make when they charge? Imagine that little noise coming from behind you with increasing volume, then having a rusty sword come up to hit you – relatively unawares - in the side of your leg, from behind. "ARGH!" Kall's stave blow didn't hit with enough force to wind, merely enough to sting for a few moments. However, Lowdan’s sword impacted, too.

Kouniam felt to the ground with both the stave-strike and the substantial gash the sword gave to his leg. It was a rusty sword, too. "DON'T mess with my FAMILY, do you HEAR me?" "Grrrr... I hate you two... let's start by making you suffer, then... die.." He reached his hand over towards Lowdan and unleashed a huge bolt of arcane energies over the gnome, emptying what was left of the Man’ari’s mana.

Lowdan cried out. He hadn't taken damage for so long, and that was quite a *lot* of damage. Sruulum bounded over to Lowdan and began licking him, excitedly. The licking had no effect on Lowdan, though Sruulum seemed to be enjoying it. "Nngraaaahhh!" Making that frustrated little noise, Kall went to strike Kouniam again, driving the stave in for another solar-plexus strike, this time with more force.

Kouniam glared as he never had before. He stopped the staff with his bare hand and eyed Kall with pure glowing hatred. "You shall never mess with me again... Manach sheek-thrish!" he yelled. "YOU shall never mess with ME or my FAMILY! Don't even TRY coming here again!" She brought the staff round again and tried to strike another pressure-point. She paused momentarily as she attempted to determine where they were on an Eredar, disregarding the Old Eredun – which she couldn't understand anyway.

Sruulum, still gleefully cleansing Lowdan of Arcane mana, didn't seem to recognise the words. He was a young demon.

Kouniam laughed and dodged Kall's attack with ease he took off a small brilliant blood-coloured glowing shard with very fragile look about it. He tried to cast something but nothing happened. "What's wrong with this mana emerald...?" Only than he realised it was the shard he had used to absorb Kall's blood. "Bugger..."

Kall didn't even bother answering the question, but took the moment of confusion to cast Curse of Tongues, followed by a hastened Shadow Bolt.

Kouniam felt back and the shard got launched in the air. "NOOO! A-kreesh azir!" He reached his hand out, the shard gravitating towards it – eventually landing snugly in his palm, and he subsequently pocketed it. Kall flurried another shadowbolt.

"Argh!" And another... Kouniam got knocked hard, desperately reaching for a real mana emerald.

And another... The mana emerald fell right next to him with the blast and he tried to reach it. Another...

Kouniam looked at the emerald in despair and cried, "A-kreesh azir!" The emerald fall in his hand and he consumed it instantly.


Another… That next, particular shadowbolt.. that one hit in such a way that exposed magical weaknesses. Kouniam was able to feel that his Shadow resistance had been weakened. With the little mana he had, he activated his mana shield and cast an ice lance towards Lowdan. Lowdan was unconscious already, the next attack merely adding insult to injury.


Sruulum, feeling mana, immediately and gleefully and blindly bounded towards Kouniam, all tongues and teeth. "Argh!" Kall kept up with the shadowbolts. "Get off me you stupid creature! Argh!"

Angered once more, he counterspelled Kall. He bounced the demon off his shield and crawled over to the shard.

Kall resisted her own spell, the source of the resistance seemingly being the relatively mundane wedding ring she wore.

"Still intact... still intact..." Kouniam muttered, examining the blood-filled shard.

She slung a Corruption spell at him, followed by another hasty shadowbolt. He tried to avoided the shadowbolt's path, but the curse consumed him slowly.

He glared across at Kall and pointed his sharp fingers at her. "You die NOW!" "Don't! EVER! Mess! With the Spranglers!" She screamed this at him before flinging another shadowbolt, disregarding what he just said.

The gash on Kall's nose was leaking slightly again. The scar which had become a scab during the fight was now unclotting – the dark magics were working themselves.

His finger started to heat the air around it - but when he got hit by shadowbolt, the heat got unleashed over himself. "Gahh!" He froze himself again.

"Bugger OFF!" She fumed quietly whilst waiting for the spell to wear off.

He broke free from the freezing spell sending shards of ice sharp as knifes to every direction.

Sruulum immediately stood fast over Lowdan, protecting him via meat shield techniques quite effectively - Kall continued making casting motions through the flurry, though she sustained similar cuts to the ones she did before. These shards were slowing her casting a little, but they did not contain the dark stifling magic as the ones before did - she launched an Immolation spell, before beginning casting something else, bigger (also from the Fire school), without waiting to see whether the Immolation was successful first.

Kouniam laughed at the immolation spell and activated a Fire Ward. He than blasted his last mana onto a massive arcane spell, similar to the one he cast at Lowdan.

Kall transmuted the spell she was casting from Fire to Shadow half-way through, as what she was going to cast was going to be an Incinerate - and, though a Shadowbolt's not quite the same, she figured it would still do damage.

Sruulum consumed all the mana which went in Lowdan and his direction; Kall endured it. She fell to one knee momentarily and involuntarily, obviously in danger of collapsing (though her face didn't show it) - but struggled back up, and continued casting.

She launched the next shadowbolt, and sneakily pulled a small green gem from her pocket - crushing it in her hand. It healed some of her injuries, scabbing over the cut on her nose once more again, and a few of the Arcane burns - though not all.

Kouniam fell onto the ground, struggling after Kall's spells - and muttering strange words.

She sent another shadow-bolt flying, though this one was decidedly weaker than all of the ones before it. She didn't have infinite mana, either. However... she did have dark magics... which she utilised now, as she cast a spell – named "Lifetap" - which converted some of her life energy into mana, for her to utilise in order to launch another shadowbolt - one of which she charged now.

Sruulum was too busy licking Lowdan, trying to bring him round, to try and spellock Kouniam.

Kouniam hold the shard with Kall's blood like it was the most precious thing in his life. "My Lady... forgive me..." He took out a small hearthstone from his pocketm and funnelled his very last mana into a strong shield in front of him.

"NEVER! MESS! WITH SPRANGLERS!" Sruulum barked by way of agreement. "This won't be taken... lightly..." "BUGGER YOU! You DON'T mess with my FAMILY! EVER!!" She seemed somewhat hysterical, like she was at the tail end of blood rage. She was just standing there, shouting with the last of her energy.

"And I hope they die..." He coughed, and spat some bluish blood from his mouth.

"Oh hahahaha that WON'T happen, mark my words..." She laughed.. no... she cackled. Sruulum whimpered slightly in response to this, though it was barely audible.

"Get someone to tend to those INJURIES of yours!" She coughed, the only sign of the immense trouble she was in. "Oh wait, infirmaries don't deal with injuries to PRIDE..."

As Kouniam vanished away, he made sure to unleash a terrible arcane blast that broke the shield he was hiding behind apart and hit Kall heavily. He was gone... for now...

Then, as the danger passed and her adrenaline levels fell - she fainted, quite unspectacularly.

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